Friday, November 14, 2008

THE ANTI-ADOPTION CONFUSION

Not a week goes by without reading somewhere in adoptoland criticism about those of us who are anti-adoption.

I can't speak for all who claim to be anti-adoption, but I do have my reasons for being anti-adoption, so let me share them with you here on Bloggers Ending The Myth.

Adoption is:

a) a system that changed my identity and legally sealed my original one. (By doing that it legally removed my choice to know my parents, my ethnicity, my culture, my siblings, my grandparents, my relatives, and my ancestry.)

b) a system that fed me scraps of no-name-privacy-protected dribble about my family and called it: Non-Identifying Information. Basically, what they were saying was: please eat shit and be grateful that somebody actually provided you with that shit to eat. Non-Identifying information goes like this: "Birth mother had brown hair." "Birth sister born in NY -1958." "Birth father was Catholic."

c) a system that would not legally allow my mother, father, siblings or relatives access to my (changed)identity or an update of my whereabouts or well-being.

(I've left out the transfer from one set of parents to another, as I didn't need adoption for that to happen - that was done via foster care and permanent legal guardianship, where I still possessed my own identity and access to my family.)

d) a system that sealed my birth certificate and refuses to unseal it, based on the presumption that I will cause harm to my parents simply because I have the "adopted" tag hanging from my sleeve.

e) a system that deems me capable of causing harm, when it is that same system that sealed my birth certificate. So, the obvious question here would be: if the system that created adoption knows that it is creating potential criminals, why does this system exist?

f) a system that won't present to me on paper why my birth certificate is sealed and why I am deemed capable of causing harm to others.

g) a system that sells humans.

h) a system that in some jurisdictions, only allows a mother 24-48 hours to revoke her adoption consent. (Here of course the system has denied a child the right to be raised with its own mother and/or father or other family members.)

i) a system that, even when it allows humans to posses their own birth certificates, says, oh, but only some can have their birth certificates - the potential criminals don't get theirs because a parent has dropped a disclosure veto into their daughter or son's file.

k) a system that does not require mandatory child advocates representing the best interest of the child.

l) a system that will not allow me to obtain my mother's death certificate because I can't provide my birth certificate to prove that she was my mother.

m) a system that allows those who have adopted a child in an open adoption agreement, either the adopter(s) or the mother/parents to break that agreement without court intervention, which would advocate for the rights and of the person adopted and reinforce the ethical responsibilities of those who chose to bring a child into the world and those caring for the child.

Is there ever a reason to take a human's identity, change it, legally seal the original one and legally separate family members from one another? Well, maybe there is a parent who is completely insane and should really have no contact with any human, never mind their own child/ren - but don't phone companies offer services to help deal with these situations?

Anti-adoption is not about leaving children in unsafe environments just for the sake of maintaining one's identity or keeping a family together. That would be anti-child safety. It's about the multitude of unethical and discriminatory laws and policies inherent to the system of adoption. These laws and policies apply post the forced removal or voluntary surrender of a child. Surrendering mothers do not seal their children's birth certificates - a mother loses her parental rights. That is not adoption.

Finding a home for a child is not adoption. Child adoption is a paper process, a choice after a decision has been made for a child to be raised by anyone other than that child's parents. The system of adoption allows those planning to raise a child not born to them, the choice to enforce the changing and sealing of a that child's identity and the permanent legal separation from its family.

Until the adoption system abolishes many of its immoral practices and policies, the first being the legalized sealing of birth certificates, I will remain, anti-adoption.

13 comments:

Possum said...

Great post Michelle.
I've linked from my blog.
Hugz,
Poss. xx

Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

Just wonderful.

Jenni said...

Great post

elizabeth said...

Great to see you blogging!

Third Mom said...

Michelle! You're blogging - I've been waiting a long time for you to start, woo hoo!

Wonderful post, I'm looking forward to more!

Michelle said...

Thanks for coming by the blog:))

Margie, I donno, doncha think I talk about adoption enough already!

jimm said...

Excellent post!

And you will have talked about adoption enough when these obscene practices are abolished.

Michelle said...

Hi Jimm - thanks. See you in Philly:))

Sandy Young said...

Michelle,
BRAVO!!! Standing up and applauding your post!!!
Thanks, and I am firmly anti-adoption, too. The better question would be why would any thinking person be PRO-adoption?
Sandy

Michelle said...

Well, Sandy, ain't that the truth. I can't blieve when people say, "Adoption is necessary sometimes." When?

Renee said...

Hi there, I caught the link to this blog off of Gershom's Anti-Adoption blog.

I'm no way connected to adoption personally, but I'm active in the pro-life issues, yet I'm also 'anti-adoption' based on a lot of what is written.

cedartrees said...

Fantastic post!

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